Pardon me while I vent for just a short while, well maybe a little longer than that, but I need to get this off my heart, mind and chest tonight.
Today I found out that Maya's third grade teacher has been telling people that we, my family, has been using the accident as an excuse for Maya having a hard time in school. A crutch perhaps as to why we are struggling as a family in general? I never really thought of it that way, in fact, I never have even brought it up except for the fact that she missed almost 8 weeks of school recuperating, then her teacher was gone for medical reasons for 6 weeks after that. ( I wonder if she uses that as an excuse for the fact that 9 out of her 21 students didn't pass their state tests this year). I am trying to stay calm but I am completely disgusted with this mindset.
First I think that the accident and Loughlin's death could be considered an excuse, as far as not doing as well as she could have done this year. Second, we are doing the best we can with the cards that have been dealt to us. It has not only been losing Lough but the last 3 months have been so very hard. I feel like I am in survival mode, that some days the best I can do is get up, feed the kids and get them dressed in clean clothes. I do those few things well, beyond that just feels like a bonus each day. Finally, I am just tired of being judged by some who know nothing about what it is like to go through this, I am tired of having to feel like people are watching my every move at the same time having no idea of what is actually going on in our home.
I am just mad and wanting to vent. I am so tired and each new crisis, small as it is, seems like a mountain. any suggestions on what I could say to her?
5 comments:
No she needs a reality check...how rude and unempathic..stay strong when you can and weep when you want to...it is so easy for other sit in judgement and have their own safe little bubble, from adversity comes strength and wisdom.....you have both in spades sending my love to you and your loved ones on earth and heaven xoxox
Like you said, you are doing the best you can with the cards you have been dealt and this woman has no idea what that is like. Of course the accident is going to have an effect on Maya and her academic work. How could it not?? Thank goodness the school year is almost over and then you can be rid of this woman.
As for what to say to her, well, several expletives come to mind but that probably isn't the direction you want to go. :)
I read this thing recently talking about the world's effect on our spirits and it was saying to be like a mountain stream. No matter how much mud and muck a person shovels into the stream, the stream carries it away, the fresh water keeps bubbling up, and it remains unstained. She is just some muck being shoveled in.
I am so sorry to hear about this unkind teacher. It's not an excuse or a crutch. This kind of loss grately effects the siblings.
Just know you are doing your best and that is all that matters. There are always going to be those people that just don't get it. Nobody can ever know what you are going through till they have to endure it themselves. Hang in there girl.
Hugs,
Jen (Angel Kamber's Mommy)
Form the angel blog
I am just sorry that we can't fix STUPID b/c she clearly is. Maya is a wonderful girl and one point means nothing!!! Sorry for it all. Love you and all your family!
This is so upsetting for me to read! Our kids' teachers have been SO great w/ them and understanding to us. I suppose it helps that one of them is in our ward and has known me since I was little, and the other is also LDS and went thru a similar experience w/ a grandchild. But I can't imagine having to worry about schoolwork and grades and teacher's opinions on TOP of everything else. They told me upfront, "dont worry about school...thats our job!".
How awful to call it a "crutch", she lost a brother in a scary accident! Of course it is going to affect her schoolwork this year. Thank goodness she is only in third grade and not in HS where it really "counts"! I dont think anyone should be concerned about her future, she'll catch up just fine next fine.
I don't even know what I could say, maybe talk to the principal instead???
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