Doubt is a Trader

Still so deeply set in my grief, then the doubt sets in about God and heaven and everything that might somehow aid in my sorrow, and I am left with the emptiness. If I could ask for a gift it would be to have my faith back, the way it was before my life was turned inside out. Yet again, if we could ask I would ask for my two children back in my life then my faith would be intact. So much guilt, so much pain. Cy is now older than Loughlin when he died. I long to see my boy, yet I have a feeling he is no longer a boy but a man.