Sunday, November 18, 2012

Where to go from here?


I have been on a journey for what seems like an eternity but in fact it has been almost 3 years. This journey should have been so much shorter and could have been had the roadblocks been fewer, but time and time again I would run into a block, then I would detour and then a tree would fall in the road, so I would take a less traveled road that was much rougher, then a tire would blow out  and no one was out there but me. I carried no jack or spare with me for I thought it was only going to be a short drive. I wasn't prepared for this trip then only to get to a place, I dare say, I don't want to go anymore. It isn't in me and I am so tired of traveling this road. How many times did I stop and ask for directions? I was always told half truths or out and out lies. I was told someone would be there to check on me. I was told along these roads, at the mile markers, I would have help but there was none, no coverage on my phone. All of this coinciding with this grief and trauma that to most would be hard enough. I haven't reached this destination but I can see ahead and now I finally have realized it isn't what I want, nor what I want for my kids.
All of this and 3 weeks straight of a horrible headache. It's hard to see any light in the distance.Confused and Exhausted I really need a vacation to my favorite place on Earth. I think the Oregon Coast can lift my spirit.