If life didn't have to move forward and your kids would stay the same age as when you lost your child, it would be so much easier. I watch Cyrus grow, what seems like everyday. He is taller than me now. He looks so grown up. I can't stop my mind from wondering what Loughlin would look like, how tall he would be, what he would be doing. I miss him so much. I miss his laugh, his smile, his shoes on my kitchen floor, his backpack in the doorway. I miss him wanting to go hunting every minute of every day. I missed him so much fishing on Saturday. He loved it so much. 17, he would be blessing the Sacrament, driving, dating. I watch his friends in church and it hurts my heart. Today I am struggling, struggling to catch my breath, struggling to see a silver lining in this life. The anxiety is overwhelming. God help me to see my blessings and recognize the love that surrounds me. Please help heal my broken heart.
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