Like a small thread you catch with your toe and don't notice until it is too late or the noodles wrapped around your fork that come undone right before you reach your mouth, this is my life it seems. You can only hide your true feelings for so long. Somehow they escape like the breath you have held for so long, your lungs want to burst. I am tired of feeling this way, tired of feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I am just not that tough anymore. I don't have the desire to fight through.
My faith is dwindling once again. I wish it wasn't true but I try to get these thoughts out of my mind but they linger like the smell of your perfume from the night before. I have just chosen to live my life the best I can. Some things you have done never go away. They are seared into your skin like a brand on an old cow. The hair starts to cover it after many years but if you look real close you can still see it. She will carry it with her to the slaughterhouse, as will I.
1 comment:
I am so sorry to read your loss and your story. I cant even imagine to comprehend the pain that you are feeling on top of having to be a wife and mom and take care of all of life's issues. I hope that you can find the comfort that you need and I hope you are able to reach out and connect with others and that your burden is lifted. You should be so proud of being an amazing mom to a fabulous family. Please dont be afraid to reach out to others and don't lose hope. You are loved, appreciated, needed and wanted in this world.
<3
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