I am starting to believe that forgiveness is a sham. A lie given to us to make us feel better about the bad things we have done. It is easier to walk through life thinking that nobody looks down on you for your performance, for your bad decisions. It isn't true though. I am not saying people don't try, I just don't believe it is possible to succeed.They believe the atonement is just for others.
1 comment:
I haven't been to a funeral like that yet. Honestly, Im not sure I could handle it. You were so brave to go. I can imagine the pain of seeing it as an "outsider" this time. It is heartless. I remember hearing the nurses laughing and talking outside of my son's room and thinking "Really??!! you do you not realize my life is over??"
It is so hard. Don't give up on yourself. Ignore those who try to force you to grieve a certain way or quickly. They just don't want to be uncomfortable. You don't need to "endure it well". You lost two of your children. You are entitled to feel like crap. You are entitled to grieve in the only way that YOU can.
It is misguided comfort/advice. They don't know. YOU know. Trust yourself. You have been through hell and are climbing out. One step at a time. You will get there, but only on YOUR schedule, no one else's.
~Bethany
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