Harlen and I are fasting tonight and tomorrow for some help with my medicine and for some peace in my heart. My soul is growing weary and I have so much to do. It is hard trying to get anything accomplished when you are in a state of panic all of the time. I am missing my boy so much. While cleaning out a drawer the other day I found an old memory stick with a few pictures on it. What a hidden treasure. Christmas is so hard without all your children to bless each day.
3 comments:
I read your blog & pray for you always. I regretted not giving you a big hug when I saw you in Walmart just because, so be prepared next time I see you. I'll pray extra hard that your faith & fasting helps you attain some needed peace & joy.
I'm not sure what kind of counseling (if any) you may have tried in the past two years...but something that helped me and my husband a LOT was finding a specialist therapist who deals with post-traumatic stress syndrome and parents who have lost children. I'm not sure how you could go about finding one in your area, but maybe the Bishop would know a place to start looking?
I just know I had those crazy, irrational, never-ending thoughts running through my brain 24/7 and it was literally making me crazy. He helped me to process them and work through them. It took a few months, but since then, the guilt, the anger, the crazy has subdued and lifted. I can't recommend it enough.
Maybe I could ask my therapist if he has any contacts in your area? If you are ever interested, please e-mail me! Its listed on the Angels Among Us blog.
~Bethany
Hugs for you. May you find what you seek.
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