My thoughts seem to be moving at the speed of light. Sounds and lights are startling me. My hands are shaking. My stomach fluttering. The anger is bubbling up like lava. Is it the giant that is awakening again? My energy is being used to hold it all in. My eyes dart around the room. I feel angst to almost every soul there. I remember everything, everything ever said or done to me. Don't speak at me. I promise to find a mistake in whatever gurgles from your lips.
Tonight as I drove home, in my own world, 5 head of deer ahead, and yet I don't see them until I am through, 2 on one side 3 on the other. Was this God showing me that he is watching out for me? But why didn't he watch out for me October 27, 2008? Now I don't care. I was alone. The only one I could have hurt was me. It probably would be for the best. I think it is a satirical comedy, my life. I see so many around thinking life would be better without me in it. Well thanks for joining in my song. 2 years ago it could have been me , then no one would have to threaten their own salvation with their thoughts of hatred and superiority when I am around. (see I can think of others)
Oh yah I didn't let, I forced. I am not a monster!
Thank God for my family. They see past my total imperfection. They love me through it all.
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