Why not me?

I just have a simple question. Why not me? Harlen is so loved by so many. He does such an awesome job at being positive. He is a supreme provider for our family. The kids love him. Did I mention that everyone who knows him loves him. Mark Twain said " No one is a failure that has friends"

I am the opposite, and I am sure that people are whispering the question across the sphere. Why not her? She has made so many awful choices and mistakes in life. You're right it should be me. It should have always been me.11 years ago it should have been me. Hell 31 years ago it should have been me.Why can't it be me?

October 27, 2018 . 10 years later

I woke up at 6:30 am this morning without an alarm. I sat and waited for 7:43am to come and go. I did and it did. Nothing changed. Loughlin is still gone and I am still missing him. I hope today is bearable. We are going to go to the movies later. True and Katlyn are hunting elk.  It's hard to keep the family together for days like these as the years move on. But we have a family still and life can still be happy at times and I am sure there will be sorrow, but we are a family and #familyiseverything .