cures

                                    

 Do you know heartache triggers actual physical pain? It's a crazy thought that the two things this world cannot cure is cancer and heartache. 

Both of these have affected my life in the last oh 32 years, perhaps before. My grief is causing physical pain, but people judge you like you are giving up of that you should miraculously just wakeup one day and feel the elephant who is resided on your chest for years is gone? It doesn't work that way, just like cancer can't be wished to go away. 

I watched a movie tonight that's whole pretense, is our lives are what we make it. If we want a pony we will get a pony. If we want to be an astronaut boom you are one, of course with a lot of hard work. I started thinking about my life and how when bad things happened, which they did frequently I worked hard to get back in the game, but these trials are getting harder and I am getting exhausted. Any words of wisdom out there in cyberspace?  I don't want to feel like this and I don't want to take a bunch of pills and walk around like a zombie.