Great Good Fair Pass

Great is a word I don't use often. I am not great at many things. In fact, I can't think of a one. I might be good or fair or I could earn a passing grade on many things but great, that is not me. It isn't for trying, I think I try hard. I am a good mom, a fair wife. I might earn a passing grade as a cook, but I fail completely on keeping a neat and tidy house. I don't know why this is stuck in my brain these last couple of days. Is passing good enough to make it through the pearly gates? For I know there are people all around watching and judging me, judging my family and now even my kids.

We don't seem to fit the Mormon mold. I am sure you can imagine what I am talking about, church on Sunday, mutual on Wednesday, Seminary every school day, happy, bearing testimonies, crying, giving youth talks, attending an LDS college Once again we are pulling a strong "C" on a good day. I haven't been participating much lately in my classes at church. I really feel dumbfounded just listening to the comments around me. Last Sunday the lesson was on Emma Smith. She lost so many children, I think 7, plus losing her husband in a horrible murder.  I heard a lady make an off handed remark about how God SAVED those children. I guess because she left the church, she was a good mom and those children wouldn't have made it to heaven????? WHAT???????

I would never want to be in a place to judge a woman that has been through so much. I look at my life and I have failed miserably at these trials. What are they saying when I leave the room? It seems a lonely place to be such an only adequate Saint in this world. God will be my only judge and only He knows my heart.