Most Wednesdays I travel to Boise to see my PTSD doctor. This Wednesday I left early because Lea needed a dress. I wanted to stop at Ross. As I was getting a drink at the Co-op in Parma I heard the sirens begin. I thought to myself I really have crappy timing. I get back in my car and there are so many sirens and cop cars and ambulances that I cannot think straight. There is an accident right outside of town. A mail van has been hit and their is a woman thrown from the vehicle on the ground, on a stretcher, another man lying next to her, but he must just be there to keep the victim calm. Life flight is on it's way. I see it in the distance. OMG I keep driving but the sounds and the thick air is all around me. I should probably pull over. I am in no shape to drive but the sirens would be blaring. The police keep passing me as I drive away from the accident, sheriffs, state police, city police, hey but on the upside they won't be pulling me over. (UPside)
I was lucky enough to have another panic attack. It took me an hour but I got myself through it. This process is slow, snail-like but it is getting a tiny bit better all of the time. Maybe one day I will hear a siren without my heartbeat beating out of my chest and my lips and my feet keeping their feeling.
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