Another Mother's Day and Maya turns "Sweet 16"

This year Maya's birthday and Mother's day landed on the same day. I really love it when that happens. I have a reason to celebrate the day. Maya turned 16 this year, and it is named exactly for her "Sweet 16". My beautiful baby girl is beyond sweet all of the time. She is fun. She makes life exciting and fun most of the time. She has so many friends in life because she really is nice. She is my biggest fan. I love her more than I could ever describe in the English language. She is going to have a giant party when her friends are done with all of their sports. Happy Birthday my beautiful, smart, fun, happy, hilarious daughter!

On Saturday night we went out to eat at Mongolian BBQ followed by bowling, not always my favorite, but bowling with all my favorite people was fun. The next morning Cyrus took me to breakfast with McKayla and her mom Lawanda before Cyrus had to go back to the U of O. I had so much fun. Cyrus has the best sound system in his car and the drive back was so enlightening, a little Bob Dylan, Jimmy Hendrix, Blake Mills. I got the best and thoughtful gifts. From Harlen I received my favorite perfume that I had just emptied that morning, Cyrus gave me a Pearl Jam vinyl. True gave me 6 1/2 pounds of hot tamales (my favorite) and a few chocolate covered cinnamon bears, that will last me 6 months. Maya and Lea gave some beautiful jewelry and lip sticks. Giles gave me a 12 pack of coke. I wasn't sad at all, until the day had come to an end. I had so much I almost forgot what I was missing, but when I was fatigued the grief socked me in the gut and reminded me that life really never will be the same. That day we laughed and talked. We smiled and ate. We hugged and giggled. We were blessed and in the end I cried. The joy of the day reminded me of how it always was before. I am so thankful for the day of rejoicing, for the feelings of yonder days. I love my family so much, even my added family, Kevin and McKayla. One day this family will begin to grow and change and morph. When that day comes I wonder if I pains of the past will still be felt? Just writing about my feelings brings up the panic and anxiety. 

Let's lighten the mood again. Funny huh? 3 days before Mother's Day Maya had me go through all these funny picture modes on Snapchat.  

We were laughing so hard. It felt so good. At least it makes me look skinny. hahaha. She posted this on her FaceBook. Most mom's would freak but she wrote I am posting this because I love you so much and I love to make you smile. I hope life is changing . I love to laugh again.