Sunday, June 7, 2009
Taking a time out for a while
I want to be numb. I am tired of it all and wanting to time out. No church, no work, just kids and husband, I am tired of thinking, tired of hurting just all together tired. I don't want any advice, no pep talks, no it is God's plan. Because if it is it sucks! Guilt is overwhelming, so much so the bitterness has made a new way in to my heart. Bitterness is easier than sorrow though and I am all for easy right now..............
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4 comments:
(((HUGS!!!!!!)))
I am so terribly sorry you are having to go through this. You are a strong, faithful and valiant daughter of God. You are entitled to want to feel numb. Guilt is such an evil tool of the advesary. Heavenly Father doesn't want you to feel guilt. Try to remember that, sweet Sister Garner.
We do not know each other, but I love you. You are human, and our heavenly parents along with your angel children, are guiding your heavenly spirit and those of your family, through this journey. You are a strength to so many and a wonderful example of vituous principles. I know our Father and Mother in Heaven love you and hurt for you too.
When your days become so dark as they do, imagine our Saviour Jesus Christ sitting or kneeling next to you, because He is there. He is speaking to you and He, more than anyone else on Earth, knows exactly how you feel. He feels every pain, every horrific pain you feel and He knows.
Keep the faith, you have a beautiful family.
If thats what you feel like you need right now, then DO IT!! I often have to retreat from everything and just let it BE. After awhile, I manage to get up the strength to wander back out in "the world" for awhile. I hope those around you will be understanding and patient.
Just remember, you won't *always* feel the way you do right now. You can do this. I'll be thinking of you. (((hugs)))
~Bethany
Angel Gavin's mom
Not surprisingly, I have no advice to give. I have never lost a child, though I long to have one. But I do know bitterness, and sadness, and loneliness, I think everybody does in some form or another. And sometimes it is easy to think God has completely forgotten you all together. And sometimes it takes too much energy to fight it. So, don't. Take a break. Embrace those feelings if you must, just don't stay there forever. The bitterness takes more energy.
Remember you are not alone. There are so many people that love you and are praying for you to make it through the next hour and the next. So many people love your family. So, when you don't feel strong lean on them.
And for now, just keep breathing.
Sending hugs. Amy
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