I have heard so many comments through the last 4 years of my life. Some of those comments I can just let roll off my back. I am sure some days I have a slicker back than others, some days my skin has transformed into some sort of Velcro and even the smallest slight my way holds my anger and angst for some time. I don't really know where this comment has landed. I would say if I came from the south that it has stuck in my craw.
I will explain a bit of where I am at in this life. I attend church most Sundays. The only time I miss is when we are traveling or I am sick or kids are sick. I go for the purpose of finding some sort of faith in this life. I go searching for answers but for the most part I come away disappointed. I am not as good at hearing the message and leaving the people behind as I use to be. I am honest and will tell you it is because I feel sorry for myself. I feel like I got the shit in this life and then I have people in the church standing around watching, judging, believing they would have handled my life better than me. Maybe they would have but they were never given this opportunity to show their strengths. (STRONG SARCASM ADDED)
Yesterday in church I listened as a young mother spouted how losing your faith is the easy way in this life. How trials are given to everyone. I will assure you losing your faith is not easy. Thinking that your two children are lying lifeless in a cold grave because of you inadequacies is surely not easy. This gal has hurt others I love very much with her snide and judgmental comments. I have known her for some 15 years. If she has had trials I have missed them. Life has paved a golden brick road for her. Sometimes I wish I had the power to make them feel the pain of losing 1 or even 2 children, or having a child who is challenged or maybe 2 that are challenged, having a child in the fight of their life for more than a year. I don't want them to actually have it happen for I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but they should just have to feel it for a day. If I hear one more time in church that everyone is given their share of trials I will perhaps blow cookies all around. Anyone with eyes knows this is not true. Unless of course some have their share which is more than most could handle and others have their share in which a 4 year old could walk through with a lollipop in their mouth. I am getting stronger and I soon will correct every ill witted response from such craziness. I am so tired of the asinine in the church. So do you who's name will not be mentioned, did you have the same trials as Joseph Smith????? Of course not but you go on living in your world of pink clouds and purple waterfalls. And then why are these the women put in leadership positions?
First day of school and I still couldn't make myself take a picture. I know I am not being good to my other kids but I just can't do it still. How can it be called a family picture when not all of the family is here??? The house is so very quiet and I miss everyone of them.
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