Tuesday, September 15, 2009

3 hours...

I saw a new therapist yesterday and what a change. I felt comfortable. She never made me once feel that what I was feeling was out of bounds or wrong. She let me talk and taught me ways to deal with the unbelievable anxiety that I have been dealing with everyday. I had 3 hours this morning that I almost felt normal, even though I still don't remember feeling normal.
Then life happened, phone calls, thinking, dreaming and it was gone but I am hopeful that I can have those feelings more often. I loved smiling again, a real smile. I am going to get through this, might not be the way some want me to get through it but it will be my way because no one has any idea what I am feeling or going through each day.
Loughlin's birthday is Friday. It will be good because that is what I have control over and I can make it good, memorable, peaceful, at least as good as it possibly can be. Tap Tap...........

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, friend! Thanks for the great walk this morning...I seriously enjoyed the time talking with you and I'm glad you had a fairly decent day. You don't give yourself enough credit sometimes...I KNOW you will get through this and I know that you know, too. See you on Thursday. Love to you and yours! Tan=mi

Heather C said...

Yay for a new counselor! I am glad she didn't make you feel like you needed to censor how you feel or that there was any judgement.

You keep doing it your way and I am hoping for more moments of "normal" in your future.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know we're thinking of your family today and that we're celebrating Loughlin's birthday, too. I'm glad you are spending the day with your family...hopefully we can connect at the game tonight. Love to all of you!