EMDR psychotherapy is an information processing therapy and uses an eight phase approach to address the experiential contributors of a wide range of pathologies. It attends to the past experiences that have set the groundwork for pathology, the current situations that trigger dysfunctional emotions, beliefs and sensations, and the positive experience needed to enhance future adaptive behaviors and mental health.
During treatment various procedures and protocols are used to address the entire clinical picture. One of the procedural elements is "dual stimulation" using either bilateral eye movements, tones or taps. During the reprocessing phases the client attends momentarily to past memories, present triggers, or anticipated future experiences while simultaneously focusing on a set of external stimulus. During that time, clients generally experience the emergence of insight, changes in memories, or new associations. The clinician assists the client to focus on appropriate material before initiation of each subsequent set.
Have had actually a worse week since starting this treatment. The memories are so raw. I really am wearing down. I feel like giving up even with everything that is around me. I am exhausted beyond what I ever thought possible. I want to see Loughlin & Rhiannon again. I want to feel my Grandma's arms around me but most of all I just want to find out if there really is another side. I really have tried to get a testimony of it all but it is not coming. I read and pray and read and pray and when I am tired of that I read and pray some more. The promise is there, "Ask and it shall be given". The darkness surrounds me when I can't feel anything. I go to his grave wanting to feel his spirit but he isn't there. The thought of him in the ground, nothing left, takes over. I try to push it out but he is gone, she is gone, all we have is this existence here and I don't want it anymore. I would rather be nothing.
2 comments:
Intuitively, I want to reach out and help give you something to cling to. And yet, it isn't in me, either. I just had the thought before checking your blog, "I want to die." It was just a really brief thought, but it didn't even alarm me. But then when I read your words, it somehow begins to set off alarms when it is you and not me. I have been really really jealous lately of people who say they feel their loved ones close. That they are not really far from us. I hate that I can't say that about Dominic and Bridget. I don't know, either. I just have to believe somehow, though, that there is life after death and they ARE there somewhere, even if not close by and not so I can feel them... that at some point when death does claim me (and for certain, it will) that I will be reunited with them. I wish we lived closer. I hate that the people I relate to the most aren't nearby. We could go to lunch and ponder on whether or not our children are really in this supposed paradise together, and whether or not we really will have the chance to be with them again. And in the meantime, we could know there was someone on this earth, who though can't fully know, has a better idea than the rest of the world with their platitudes and cliches about what it's like to have an aching heart and a troubled mind.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/questionofgod/ownwords/grief.html
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