The sun is setting in the West with a tinge of red and orange in a sorrowful way. The fires are blazing on the West Coast . The fires are destroying my sacred ground. The place where we go to escape, but why not? God has taken what is most precious to me and has left me on charred ground. I wish this life was over. I need Harlen. I ache all over like I have a cruel case of the flu. I see him struggling for his last breath and I want to save him, but the insurance companies and hospital administrators have taken him from me. The stages of grief switch throughout the day. I am mostly sad, not just sad, but heartbroken. I cry most of the day. I like to sleep. In fact I love to sleep. Nightmares haunt my dreams but at least it isn't 18 hours of yearning. I knew he was going to die but did it have to be so fast? I love you Harlen. I will for a lifetime and more.
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