Am I Ready?

I feel pressured to take giant steps in my renewed belief in God. I like to live life in the slow lane, but I feel a constant question from the other side to rethink what happened last Sunday. Today the bishop asked me if I wanted a temple recommend. What? I have only taken the sacrament twice in 11 years and today is one of them. Why not? I am not doing anything against the standards of the church. I am a cloned Mother Theresa. I jest, but really the standards are not my problem. My problem is with God and the life I have been given. I feel like a cry baby sometimes, but it has been rough and there is not much sunshine for future days. In fact we are in a fight for our lives again. Harlen is looking at a year before he will be back to his norm. The transplant is being set up for about 2 months from now with all of the testing between him and the donor. Then it is 5 weeks in the hospital followed by 100 days living within a 30 minute drive to the hospital. We still have Giles and Lea at home. Our plan is to have Maya move home to take care of them while Harlen is in recovery. Giles is a senior. This is going to be interesting trying to juggle every event. But first things first Harvest is here and how will we do it all? One day at a  time and now I will be doing it in garments. Wow things change fast. I have felt naked lately. I guess it is time.

Rhiannon's birth dad was killed in an airplane crash on Wednesday. Kenneth was just 50 with 4 children and a loving wife that need him. How is this part of a plan?

After my recommend interview I was engulfed in ugliness. I was angry and shaking and scared wondering if I had done the right thing. It passed with Harlen by my side. There is peace in our home again. Peace in my heart. I am hopeful Harlen will make it through this. the odds mean nothing.