We all know how much I love hospitals , especially at 2am with my son in emergency surgery.

Sunday at about 9 pm True came home from bow hunting with a horrible pain in his stomach. He was up in Jordan Valley about 1 1/2 hrs from our house. He sent me to town for antacids, Pepto, etc. But while I was gone the pain got worse. I met Harlen in town and we took True to the Emergency room. After blood tests, urine tests and a CT Scan we found out he had appendicitis. He was admitted and thank God my favorite Dr. was on call. So Dr. Tes took True's appendix out at 2am.. I was a basket case for about the entire time we were there. I wouldn't make it through losing another baby.

The good news is True's surgery was successful. He is home and doing well. I am still overly stressed and exhausted. We were up for 36 hrs straight. We are also involved in a family member's separation and divorce that is not fun. I need a big vacation, A fun vacation.

I booked one. The whole family is going to Englewood California for Eric Clapton in concert, which was 3rd on my bucket list. We are going to Universal Studios, then to SanDiego Zoo and Sea World. Now that is a vacation.

Being Kidney STONED

I spent 2 weeks after fair with a UTI and then Kidney Stones. I was completely miserable.  I am tired of being sick. I know it is part of the PTSD. The stress is taking a toll on me. I need a vacation.

100 random Mormon mothers or a compliment for your wife

How hard do you believe it would be for your significant other to accept a compliment about your wife being the nicest Mormon at the reception. To which my son said My mom isn't really very nice and she isn't really a Mormon. Funny huh? Well I thought it was funny, but I guess not for everyone because it is too hard to comprehend that someone thinks your wife is nice, especially nicer than those perfect Mormons.Why are you with me? Sinking deeper.........

What a f-up religion

Always the Bridemaid never the Bride

Fair 2017 has come to an end. Delanie won grand champion with a steer out of our favorite Red Charolais Bull. He was raised at our house with all the other steets. The judge loved him at 1st sight. I was happy for him, but once how about our kids who work so hard. This is my blog and I can feel sorry for myselffor a while.
She is  sweet girl. It was her first year showing. She is 11.
It was a good year for Nyssa Beef Club.  💞💔💖

I will always be your mom........

I know you are no longer here.
I know I will never see you in this life again.
I know that my last memories of you were horrendous.
I know that no one understands the pain.
I know that no one understands the guilt.
It was me that saw you last.
It was me that spoke to you last.
It was me who was responsible for your well-being.
It was me who failed miserably.
It was me that changed your diapers, fed and clothed you.
It was me that showed you love everyday.
I will always be your mom.
But I will never get to hold you or kiss you.
I will never get to see your smiling face.
I will never see you graduate or get married or have kids.

I will never grow old reaping your blessings.

God everyday I wake up pleading for you to be home.
There are not miracles, nor God, nor Oden, nor Christ.
There is no heaven.
There is not even relief for the nightmare that is my life.
I am running hard but the reaper will not let go of my jacket.
He is laughing and I am panicked, popping the Valium to just be able to breathe.
Some days I go backwards, but I am on the uphill climb.