Scars

I have a scar from the accident. It isn't very big and the Dr.'s that sewed me up did a very good job of hiding it. They did a good job of hiding it from everyone but me. I see it every time I look in the mirror. I see it every time I put my contacts in, comb my hair, brush my teeth, put on my makeup (especially my mascara). I feel it every time I get my eyebrows waxed or I dare pluck them myself. It isn't that painful, but I feel it. Physically that scar will always be with me. The worst part of it is though emotionally it is a sickening reminder of what happened, what happened to my life, my family, my marriage, my happiness. It is just there, camouflaged by my eyebrows, but there is no way I can camouflage the feelings it brings on. I can't bury that I am responsible for the death of my son. I can't shroud the fact that all of my kids struggle with our new existence. Scars are funny like that.

On the other hand it is my proof that I have made it this far. I am tired and life seems overwhelming right now. We had our sale on Tuesday. It went well. 2nd highest sale ever, but it is hard to be happy anymore. I am tired of trying so hard just to survive.