October 27th was the anniversary of Loughlin's death. We ran away to Florida for the week with the kids and kept every one's mind away from it except mine because all I could think is that I promised to take him there when he turned 16. Every place we went just reminded me that he would have loved it there or if only there were an even number no one would have to go alone. It was so hard! I put on my happiest face though for my family, for my kids.
Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock and do that day all over. I would look and see that truck. I have gave up on church for the time being. I don't believe and it is hard to pretend that I do anymore. Isn't there somewhere I can run that this won't follow me?
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