Today I had a few hours of happiness, in face probably close to 4 . It is something that is a long time coming. I have felt moments of joy when I look at my other children or when they do something spectacular but those times are so short and then the sadness returns and I am left with the guilt and loneliness of missing my son and my daughter who in a fair world would be here to share in our triumphs, our happiness, our accomplishments, but this life is not fair. It is to be endured and hopefully in the end there will be something else.
I was so tired tonight I went to bed early, fell to sleep quickly only to be awaken with the cries of Lea at midnight. I think I am up now for the duration. I should read, walk, run but I feel like just being.
3 comments:
Sometimes, I love being awake when no one else is. Of course in the morning it's always difficult. So, I'm glad you got a great "nap" by going to bed early.
I'm glad you got some hours of happiness! Yours has been a very long road, which got longer again. Prayers and hugs to you!
Diana
(from the angel blog)
Hey, friends. I'm not sure if you'll even see this, but just wanted you to know we're thinking of you today. We hope you're having a wonderful time with each other and with your kids. Sending love to sunny and warm Florida from cold, damp Eastern Oregon. I came down with the stupid "pig" flu and can't be near the baby for 5 days! It stinks! I hope none of you get it on your vacation! Love to all of you! Tami and fam
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