The Conversation

Cyrus and McKayla came over to the house yesterday. We talked. We talked for 2 hours about a lot of things. He still blames me for so many things, but I don't think he hates me. I don't know if things will ever be the same. I love this child so much. I would easily give my life for him. If this was a fair world I would be able to take this from him. I deserve it. He deserves a good life, teaching, having kids, loving his music and his books. He has been through hell and back. If God was real I could sacrifice my mind for him to be healthy. Love should conquer all.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

I can't believe Giles is 16. What a great kid. He has some flaws, grades being one but he is so much fun and everyone loves him.  I love him. I hope he has a great year. Driving, dating  and just having fun.

Never enough

You would think i would be happy this morning, but I am not. Easter dinner went off without a hitch. We even hunted for eggs, yes everyone.  I am sure the bribery with the money helped. My son hates me still.  Now I have neighbors wondering what this demon could have done to her son to have him turn on me. Always me..... what a curse. I hate Easter anyway.  The life after death promise is too unbelievable to even be a hope.
Fuck this life.
Which disease would pay penance for the hell I have created? Leprosy needs to make a comeback.