PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

***I just want you to know how great it felt when I finally understood what has been going on with me for the last 6 years. It is a horrible existence when you just think you are crazy and everyone is judging you and looking on. This only helps me though. No one around me has felt these uncontrollable feelings, they put you down, make you feel worthless, because you can't be who you use to be. They pile on. A church that judged harshly, loss of friends, loneliness are all part of this venture. 

Slam on the breaks, my heart jumps through the ceiling, an ambulance drives by and I am incapacitated, oh look there is lifeflight on the roof of the hospital, horns honk. All of these things ruin my day, do they you? 

How many traumatic events have I had in my life? I don't talk of some, they are horrendous and nauseating and they took their toll on my menial life. But I did see 2 of my children lying lifeless next to me. That would count me in this group. I wish I had known sooner. I wish someone could have helped. I wish there was a God that thought I had been through enough but there wasn't. So I looked insane in front of my kids. Do you know where I am today. I am angry, so angry. I want to scream out, " Why"? And I hate you. You know who you are. You left me alone, alone in my suffering and looked on with glee. I hate you! I want to give up because these new memories are too hard to process. There he is just lying and you , you are pulling me away from him and I hate you for that. Put me in the ground with him. I deserve it. My babies, my babies, my babies. Lonely, lonely, alone. I know you are thinking I am surrounded by my family, how can I be lonely? I am. Where is my self medication? 

Traumatic events that can lead to PTSD include:

War Natural disasters Car or plane crashes Terrorist attacks Sudden death of a loved one

Rape Kidnapping Assault Sexual or physical abuse Childhood neglect

Or any shattering event that leaves you stuck and feeling helpless and hopeless The difference between PTSD and a normal response to trauma The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. Following a traumatic event, almost everyone experiences at least some of the symptoms of PTSD. When your sense of safety and trust are shattered, it’s normal to feel crazy, disconnected, or numb. It’s very common to have bad dreams, feel fearful, and find it difficult to stop thinking about what happened. These are normal reactions to abnormal events. For most people, however, these symptoms are short-lived. They may last for several days or even weeks, but they gradually lift. But if you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the symptoms don’t decrease. You don’t feel a little better each day. In fact, you may start to feel worse. A normal response to trauma becomes PTSD when you become stuck After a traumatic experience, the mind and the body are in shock. But as you make sense of what happened and process your emotions, you come out of it. With post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however, you remain in psychological shock. Your memory of what happened and your feelings about it are disconnected. In order to move on, it’s important to face and feel your memories and emotions. Signs and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) The symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can arise suddenly, gradually, or come and go over time. Sometimes symptoms appear seemingly out of the blue. At other times, they are triggered by something that reminds you of the original traumatic event, such as a noise, an image, certain words, or a smell. While everyone experiences PTSD differently, there are three main types of symptoms: Re-experiencing the traumatic event X Avoiding reminders of the trauma X Increased anxiety and emotional arousalX  Symptoms of PTSD: Re-experiencing the traumatic event Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event X Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again) X Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things) X Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma X Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating) X Symptoms of PTSD: Avoidance and numbing Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma X Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma X Loss of interest in activities and life in general X Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb X Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career) X Symptoms of PTSD: Increased anxiety and emotional arousal Difficulty falling or staying asleep X Irritability or outbursts of anger X Difficulty concentrating X Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)X Feeling jumpy and easily startled X Other common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Anger and irritability X Guilt, shame, or self-blame X Substance abuse X Feelings of mistrust & betrayal X Depression and hopelessness X Suicidal thoughts and feelings X Feeling alienated and alone X Physical aches and pains X

'He will be Missed Dearly'

http://www.kboi2.com/news/local/33538584.html


Found this working on my Website. Brought back that week in my heart. Sometimes you forget how good people were to our family. God I miss him.......