Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Today I just wanted to die

We are coming up on another one of Loughlin's birthdays. He would have been 24, but he isn't . He is dead. I have had one of those days. Those days when you think that you have had enough. The kind of day I have more than a couple of times a year. I had almost convinced myself to give up. My kids are doing well. They probably would be better off without me. I am doing bookwork that I hate, no that I despise. My anxiety is unbearable. I was even dreaming of ways to do it so that Harlen would still get the life insurance . He would be better without me. I can't breathe any longer. I want it to end.


2 hrs later, Lea has a volleyball game and life looks a little better. 
Maybe I can make it another day.













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