Grandma's Embrace

Today I wish I could have my Grandma's arms around me telling me it will all be ok. It seems when she would tell me, I somehow would believe, even through some tough times. I need some assurance because I feel nothing but hopelessness. I am overwhelmed with grief and loneliness. I want my son back, graduating in 2 weeks. I want to see his kind face smiling in the sunshine. I want to fish with him up at the Owyhee. I want to just listen to him talk for hours about his dreams. If I can't have those things, I want to crawl into a dark space. I want to be alone in my misery. Missing falls so short of my feelings. It is no longer a gnawing. It feels as if a jagged toothed monster has ripped open my soul. God take away some of this pain or I will not make it through. Can you die of a broken heart?