Last week Harlen and I delivered bulls. We took them to an incredible guy that Harlen knows very well. I guess I had met him before but i don't remember. He and his wife have been through hell this last year. False accusations ruined is life. But last Monday his son committed suicide in the most horrifying way. He had been fighting mental illness for years and he was done. I haven't slept well since. I am scared for Cyrus. OMG I could not live through losing another child.
Why this happened to our family? Well Harlen told me last night it is because of me. It is because I curse God for taking my kids. It is because I don't believe, that I don't do everything his God requires, so Cyrus getting sick is my FAULT. If only I was a better person. Organized religion is a plague on society.
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