I am just tired

I am just really tired. Tired of hurting and missing. Tired of forcing myself to church and activities. Tired of the weight in my chest and my heart. Tired of wondering what if, or asking why. I just thought the other day when is this going to get better, feel different?
After leaving a fireside last night at the Stake Center about the open house at the temple here in Boise, my mind was moving at Ferrari speeds. You know the last time I went to the temple it was scary. It was a completely horrifying experience where I could not get any breath and the darkness was all around. I had to be helped through the session. I felt like dying. The memories came back in vivid detail last night and then the talk of eternal families put my heart on alert. Forever families is a cute little phrase for most people, for me it is the final kicker, but for the most point I really don't understand it. I tend to over think most things in life and I know I completely over think this. First are we suppose to believe that if their are forever families, are the LDS the only ones that will enjoy this? Second if we are with our family and our kids are with their families and so on and so forth, really you will just be with your husbands, the kids will have no bearing. I don't understand the what's so great of it all.
Aanother question that came up in my mind last night is who has the Holy Ghost. Are Mormons the only ones with the Holy Ghost? I have never believed that but was being led that way in the talk. I know we are the only ones with the gift of the Holy Ghost as a constant companion but others have it right????

These are thoughts for about 15 min in my mind and it swirls and swirls with no answers, so today I have one of those headaches that covers the entire skull, pressure, like I am at some point going to explode.