Have you ever felt like, for the majority of your life, you are something that you don't want to be? You are a person that the world looks down upon. You are that person because of choices you made and acts made against you. All of these things formed your spirit and no matter what you do or how hard you pray or change your life or try to help others, you will always be that. I have tried to run away from it my whole life, the label, the knowledge, the disgrace but you can't. There is always someone there to remind you, and they don't care what you have been through. You are what you are.
And there really is no other way around it, so I will learn to live with it. I will strive to make the lives of those around me nothing like mine was. I will try to teach that with those choices only comes misery. I can cry poor pitiful me. I can walk around with my head down because of the shame. My spirit has always been a fighter but I am done fighting.
I even look at my life and think, Wow God really wants to punish her. My soul is so raw, bruised, bleeding. Why should I have any peace? I look forward to the day when all is dark and I am at rest.
1 comment:
I think of you. I pray for you. You are of value and worth...period. I pray for you to see yourself the way God sees you, a precious daughter who is loved and valued. I pray for you to feel peace. To feel love. To feel the Spirit. Don't give up. One minute at a time. You are worth it.
Post a Comment