Friends with Real Benefits

Harlen and I went to visit a husband and wife who live close by who have also lost 2 kids, on Tuesday night. It was nice in a lot of ways. Let's call the husband Joe and the wife Lucy. Joe spoke of the feeling of invincibility after he lost his young son. He thought he and his family were safe and protected. I also had that feeling after losing Rhiannon, like nothing would ever hurt like that again, that God took 1, he wouldn't take another. He spoke of what a mountain it was to climb when that invincibility broke and he had to realize that none of us are safe ever. His wife grieved a lot like Harlen and they also did not grieve a like. I still was the lone woMan out on the losing my faith but I always have walked a different path and usually not a easy path. It seems I miss the road signs and I never carry a map in this life. Lucy was sweet. She had accidentally backed over her young boy. She never carried the guilt, that is admirable. They are quite a ways further out of this grief than us but it was warming to see that it might get easier.

My closest friend in the world is the one that strengthens me. She lost her beautiful daughter to cancer at 15 after a long, hard, fought battle. She is strong. Her family is incredible. She still has trial after trial thrown at her and she comes out bruised and battered but she comes out stronger than anyone I know. She calls me and lifts my spirit when I am down and even though she has a daughter the same age as me, I could talk for hours on end to her. I love her and would do anything for her.

I have other friends who have not experienced this test but have been cheerleaders for us through this horrific process. These are the friends I want to surround myself with. Friends that do not judge or think I am weak for this road I am on. It is my road and only those who travel it with me can help lead me to the light.