Lay the Blame where it belongs

I have spent 9 years blaming my shakes on the medicine, my sadness on the medicine, my jerks on the medicine, my every downfall on my medicine. Well guess what no medicine and I just want to quit, quit living, quit breathing, quit worrying, quit crying, quit caring, quit hurting, quit feeling guilty, quit everything,

I am once again a coward and cannot quit, but I can stay in my pajamas all day, have headaches that hurt so bad I want to cry, but there are no tears left for such trivial bullshit. They should give morphine drips for mind hurts just like they do body aches. Stick a catheter in, IV morphine, even a bag. I will just sit here and pout for the day, week, month, year, lifetime.

I plan this huge party for Loughlin's birthday like it is going to make this excruciating pain to go away. I am sooooooo fucked up. I have fucked up everyone's life that touches mine.

Beck, “I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”