Memorial Day 2014

Memorial Day 2014

Memorial day is a double whammy for me. It is hard alone but added that Rhiannon died on Memorial Day makes it more so. I live 7 hrs away from her grave and that also makes it hard. The cemetery was beautiful yesterday, if you can use such a word to describe such a place. If it looked like that everyday it might be easier to visit. I feel angry I have to decorate my child's grave and yet I feel guilty when I don't. Both feelings are born out of a strong sense of displeasure. I still feel so ripped.........it is hard to get past this. I miss them both. We went to the movie, "Million Dollar Arm" after decorating the graves. It was meant to get my mind clear of the sadness. We ate at Red Robin before, our family favorite forever. Harlen was served the wrong hamburger. He got a Whiskey River Bacon Burger instead of his favorite, Banzaii. The bacon burger was Loughlin's favorite. The movie would have been his choice. I was looking for a no brainer like Godzilla. I was voted out. So this morning my heart is heavy and my eyes are leaking. How long until this emptiness goes away?