Today is Loughlin's 19th birthday. I have been having a real hard time with this one. It is the one, the one when he would have been moving on, mission, college, marriage. Instead we have a night at Red Lobster with the family but before that we have things, complications that show up, spoil what is left of a crappy celebration and to tell you the truth I am too tired to do this anymore. It doesn't seem to be worth it. Life is beyond cruel and if not for my babies here, I would lay down and give up. I love you Loughlin. I have loved you from the moment I knew you were there. I never cared once about the morning sickness knowing you would be the result. I marveled at every achievement you made. You were always smarter than your years, so kind even though those around you were not. You still make me pause when I think of your love for your siblings. You were and always will be my inspiration.
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